I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
