Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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