Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
