Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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