Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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