I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
