See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
