so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
