he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
