He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im holly from the hills drunk
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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