I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
