I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
