So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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