is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
