i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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