I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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