Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
