just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
