Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think my vagina is haunted
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
