it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
