so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
