And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
