They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
