That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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