I don't think brook has ever known best
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
