I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Send help, water and tortillas.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
