so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
