erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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