sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
