Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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