look no pants
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
