i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
