Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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