pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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