high people should be assigned attendants
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
