The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Alive.
So much puke
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
