cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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