No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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