So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
