Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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