didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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