I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
