I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
