People with herpes should wear stickers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I intend to get homeless drunk
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
