I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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