I can text with my tongue
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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