STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she woke up with a sticky ear
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
