i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
