He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
