I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
